Heartbreak Kid

Yesterday me and Boaz drove down the something something peninsula to a beach in Frankston. He picked me up after eleven and we got there around one PM. It wasn't very warm so we ate at Subway, drove up to Portsea and returned to the beach. It was empty. Windy and deserted. The views were nice -- You could actually see the silhouette of the city on the opposite shore. An hour later we decided to go back home.

Now, what follows may shock some readers but the shock will pass before my arse is back in Finland so I don't care. I've been honest so far and there's no reason to stop now.

On our way home, Louise called me from Rochford and asked me what I was doing. My alarms didn't go off immediately since I was surprised to be getting a call from someone not named Sascha, Ana or Helmut (or Boaz). Then she asked me if we could hang out later and I said "sure, I'll call you back". The truth was I'd rather do something fun with Boaz or nothing at all. But we decided that some dinner and a movie at Boaz' house would be good. So we headed there and texted Lou to come there too.

I was exhausted when we got to Boaz' place at around 4:30. When Lou came she practically sat on me to get close to me. I was starting to get scared. Then we watched the movie (National Treasure 2!) and that's when things started to get ugly. She kept playfully poking me and if my hand was anywhere near hers she tried to grab it. I had to place my left hand in places she couldn't reach not to be annoyed by her advances.

If it was me I'd try to find out if the other person is attracted to me before making a physical move like that. I dunno if she's madly in love with me or just really, really bad at reading other people's emotions, probably the latter and I felt harassed by her.

After the movie I had to get a lift home from her. When we arrived at Summit Road she told me that she liked me and I... said nothing. I didn't want to say "I like you too, but"... The fact that I goof around at work and she laughs at my jokes doesn't make her attractive. Nice and likable maybe. But throwing herself at me without any interest in my intentions? Desperate and pathetic.

I got out of the car and went inside feeling tired and, honestly, angry. I felt I had one friend less while I had done nothing wrong. Is it a surprise that I'm not attracted to her? The only mistake I did was say yes when she asked if we'd like to hang out later. But I didn't realize how she felt until after the phone call. And it was too late after that.

I have to add that Ana told me a rumor about Louise and her past as a man-eater, but I don't think it really factored here. I don't believe she likes me "that way" and I actually hope that she doesn't because that would mean I didn't break her heart. Although I would be offended that she thought I'd be that easy. The other option -- that she really likes me -- is just filled with awkwardness, but she might not be working at Rochford that much anyway.

Today at work was nothing spectacular. The whole ordeal had actually made me feel a little homesick overnight and I thought about a lot of people and days back home while doing the wires on Helmut's rows of vines. It was a sunny day and I turned my thoughts from home to planning/daydreaming about my future travels in Australis. Once I got home from work I took my daydreaming to the computer to calculate gas expenses and check rental car, flight and hotel expenses. Here are some of my plans:

1. My mom might come for a one night visit to Melbourne the third weekend from now.

2. This morning (last night for him) my brotherman let me know that he'd made hotel reservations for us in Sydney. I'll be down there from the 22nd until the 30th of November.

3. I'll stay at Rochford through the concert season and might be leaving a week after the the last one (INXS on Feb 6th) on the 15th of February. The rest of February and March would be spent in Tasmania and Sydney. I'd like to go to TAS by sea, drive around and fly to SYD from Hobart. I might work in a bar in Sydney to inflate my budget and maybe even stay with my mom if she comes to work there. *fingers crossed* Plus, I'd have to see Canberra too.

4. April (maybe late March too) would be dedicated to road tripping, Into The Wild style. I'm thinking of getting a Jucy campervan and driving it around the continent to Adelaide, Perth, Broome, possibly Uluru, Darwin and eventually Cairns.

5. In New Zealand I'd rent another Jucy (it's even cheaper there) and drive around the north island. Tonga and Samoa are yet to be planned, but if I run out of Australian money, I'll gladly get by with my Finnish Visa if it comes to that.



...Now, I just have to take it day by day. Tomorrow I work outside. Saturday will be a function. Next Tuesday is Melbourne Cup day -- Melbourne Cup is some kind of horserace -- so I don't know which days I will have off. I have to secure plain tickets for my trip to Sydney and be patient about that. Meanwhile I'll keep on working, watching DVDs, reading and making new friends.

Now go listen to Pat Benatar's Heartbreaker or "George Steinbrenner's" version from the last seasons of Seinfeld.